Tribulation Worketh Patience [Romans 5:3-5]
In a mess of mistakes (not willful sins) [Hebrew 10:26], when everything is seeming out of control + tribulation is ripe. The devils mocking my failures, and my conscious is doing the same. And I keep repeating the same errors, + chastisements are upon me [Psalm 23:4].
"For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,"-Hebrew 10:26 KJV
There is a lesson that will come from all of this, in staying faithful (truthfully within my capabilities, though my capabilities sometimes wither when persecution magnifies).
The tribulations are part of the trials on earth(2347 θλῖψις-(tribulation)affliction, pressure, trouble, + comes from 2346 θλίβω-(trouble) afflict, crowd + is Akin to 5147 τρίβος-(path) rut/worn track from τρίβω-rub), + going through these things without worldly submission works abidance (the literal definition of 5281 ὑπομονή-(patience) is abide under/endurance from 5278 ὑπομένω-(endure) stay under).
In all these things we see the word being tried as silver [Psalm 12:6]. The Psalms playout before our eyes (good book to read daily), while they say where is your God [Psalm 42:3].
But though he be in the heavens, yet his Holy Spirit guides us in his way he chooses [Psalm 25:12]. And are experience (1382 δοκιμή-(proof) test from 1384 δόκιμος-(approved) acceptable F 1380 δοκέω-(think)accounted, think, suppose) grows + the soul is strengthened within to continue in hope.
Not that any Christian will ever be good [Matthew 19:17], though sanctification is a must [Romans 8:30], though certain things it seems we all need to learn + grow from. And that hope in such makes us not ashamed because the Holy Spirit we have from God as a seal [Ephesians 1:13], that guides us.
And in due time he will establish us, after we suffer for a little while [1 Peter 5:10].